signing divorce agreement

Life After Divorce: Continuing to Be Good Parents

There will be times when things won’t go your way. Sometimes, even the most important decisions lead to unfavorable results. Sadly, marriage is not immune to this. In 2017, 16 out of 1,000 couples divorced.

If you are divorced and have kids, being there for them is of paramount concern. If you need help regarding your rights as a parent, there are competent family attorneys in Everett who can assist you.

Just because you are divorced does not mean that you can’t be good parents anymore. Here are a few pieces of advice to help you continue your parenting journey:

Make a Parenting Plan

First, you have to make a parenting plan. This is a form that you need to submit to the court. You will have to answer questions such as who gets to make the important decisions for the kids or visitation schedule. You and your ex-spouse can make your own separate plans, or you can work together on one. If no agreement is reached here, the court will provide the plan. At this point, always remember that all of this is for the children’s best interests. Throw pride out of the door and compromise when needed.

You both love your kids with great passion, and this can sometimes cause misunderstanding. You may come to a point where your anger got the best of you and made you say harsh words. When the children are around and you find yourself on the phone in this situation, move to a different room. You don’t want them to be reminded of their parents’ separation.

Keep the Communication Line Open

Couple signing divorce papers

You need to maintain open communication with your ex, who knows as much about your kids as you do. They also know what is best for them. The same goes for the kids. Whenever they spend time with their other parent, ask them about it. Make them look forward to the next day they will spend time together. This will make them feel like they still have a semblance of control over their lives. Their parents’ decision to separate was not theirs to make. They should be given the choice to enjoy their time with their parents.

Ask your children how they feel about the separation. If they find that you are willing to listen, they will do the same for you. This will be your chance to let them know why this happened and that it’s not their fault. Refuse the urge to put your ex in a bad light. Remember that you are both parents. Children see you as equals. After that, it would be a good time to let them know the positives. You’ve all weathered the storm when you went through the separation. Telling the kids about your parenting plan will bring a sense of normalcy back to their lives.

People are not perfect. There may come a time when you miss your obligations. Sometimes visitations will be missed. Do not get too mired up in the little details. Learn to forgive and forget if these are not frequent. Make sure that your children are well informed that you will make it up to them.

Divorce is a long and arduous process that can take a huge toll on you as a person. Do not let that bother you. Marriages come and go, but parenthood is forever.

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